Seasonal Opportunity

This evening, well 1700 hrs we meet in a bar for a work's night out. Is that what you call these things? Anyway, not something I really enjoy. When I was younger I resolutely refused to participate in anything like a social gathering. My position in the business makes it somewhat obligatory, although I could worm out of it if I really tried. Since I met the work, I tend not to want to run away from this type of event. It's an opportunity to practise self-remembering, non-identifying and general self-control in the midst of intoxication and over-indulgence. I'll likely not sit it out to the end but as long as I'm there, I'll have this intention.

Note:
A weak effort overall. Felt a bit deadened but observed this as an overall emotion prevalent among the party. Exception being one woman who is an alpha male type, no matter where you are or what you are doing you hear her voice above the crowd. She's very lovely in other ways, helpful and caring, but also harsh and simple in the sense that party animals reduce everything down to sex, drugs and rock n roll. She's definitely into her sex and alcohol. Reading C's comment that I'll be targeted, well this woman would be the one, it's always her type. But it was really a flat-lined effort. I wasn't a threat to anyone. Interesting to note here, as this is something I've observed before: you think you are SR and somehow, either through other people or oneself initiating a conversation, you are lead into that type of internal considering where the group discuss absent individuals, slagging them off. I think I fell prey to that early in the evening and never properly regained myself. And as it's happening in real time it doesn't even seem like anything - that is the horror of sleep, it all seems so natural, so normal and right. And then on those occasions where you are doing big SR efforts, it can seem like a breeze and so easy, you entirely under value how rare the event is and just what effort it requires. Anyway, some you win and some you lose.