This Day

This Day:

Self-remember:

1. Five mile motorcycle journey, site meeting, 11 mile motorcycle journey.
2. Appointment with dentist.
3. Housework.

Aim is to head in to the day and meet with these certain-to-occur events in a state of self-remembering. In the first place, this is an expression of 'work will' - simply remembering to be here. Secondly, it's a rote type effort to then stay present. This is a pregnancy. You have to give birth to oneself during these predetermined events.

The two motorcycle journeys and site visit lasted about 90 minutes. I obviously slipped away somewhere along the second leg and found myself sat in front of the computer at my desk about 3 hours later. I noted that with a sense of shock and surprise - how easily I went 'out' and for such a time! Then, later I remembered myself as I lay with my mouth wide open in that vulnerable posture that dentists put you in. How long I lasted I'm not sure. Odd thing, I have remembered myself so many times in the dentist's chair that it is almost an association: dentist = opportunity to self-remember. Something about the clinical and alien atmosphere combined with the passive state.

There is no way to summarize the events of this evening. No-one uninvolved in the Work, lacking the practical experience of spiritual warfare, will understand if I say that the event I described as 'housework' (which was intended to be a general tidy up and preparing for Christmas) turned out to be an assault of epic proportions taking all the subtlety and craft of Odysseus not to be drawn down into a hellish state of negative emotions and intense identifying. How difficult was that? I can't explain. Events of this magnitude sound ludicrous, even to oneself. How can it be put into words? That is the problem here. We are operating in an internal landscape. It surpasses all the common levels of meaning. We are naturally led into the practical romantic visual language of the grail. It communicates real events, real experiences common to those who walk this way. We are in strange lands. Everything looks normal, seems normal, and I'm sure anyone with half a grade in basic psychology would be able to offer a good rational reason for things being like this or like that - and still, they'd be wrong. But that's how it is. These experiences are unusual, and actually, rare. We are moving out of this world, by degrees but it is happening. It is a life of constant vigilance, constant battle, with defeats and victories. There is no 'Enchanted Ground' - washing the dishes is no retreat, it too becomes an event in which we are forced to stand and fight or fall. Yet, what use are these words to anyone who has not yet cast off their ignorance?