Aim: Self remember every 15 minutes for 7 hours
Start: 1015
Finish: 1715
Result: 9/28
One mark on a piece of paper indicated a quarterly presence. In total I could accrue 28 marks, four each hour. At the end of the 7 hours I totalled 9 marks.
Notes:
Frustrating to say the least. I needed to go Christmas shopping. Not good. When shopping I have about 90 minutes after which I 'max' out. I handle the event rather poorly, being easily angered, frustrated or whatever. It always beats me. I hate it. I'm a hit 'n' run shopper, if I'm a shopper at all. The upshot was that today was much harder in terms of self-remembering than the two days that preceeded. It felt like a treading treacle battlefield. I would grab hold of presence and minutes later realise I had lost it and again minutes later repeat that realisation. And on, the whole day through, I just never got a grip. Though, due to my dislike of this type of (shopping) event, the unrelenting inner friction served as a continual reminder of my situation. I was unable to hold onto presence for any length of time but the lull of sleep was constantly broken such that the poor quality of presence was matched by the lack of truly forgetful sleep. THE DISTURBANCE RAN BOTH WAYS. I may take that as something positive. In anycase, I'm not aiming for a particular quality in these efforts. I'm ditch digging, lifting myself up into the Eternal Present of Here Now. The high street is not a bad place to practise awakening but it's a mean scene among those crowds, so easy to forget the flow of Grace ... and the Ark drops out of sight.
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4 comments:
>:o Back off, damnit!! Here's what I'm gonna do...
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~:| OK, here goes... A new year is approaching. A good time to make an aim. Reading has been a problem. Slippage, perhaps, also.
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~:| I'm going to read my famous seven books in the next year. (Oh, that sounds so stupid when I say that...but...)
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~:| Yes. I'm going to read my famous seven books. And also three theology books. Ten in all.
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~:| I have to have faith that they are so well-chosen and worth it that the effort won't be ridiculous. Also I have to believe that it's something that needs to be done. Also, I can do it without the ponderous page one to last page reading thing because I've already read each one complete already, so I can read them in different ways to reacquaint and to also read again. I have to remember who I was to move on from where I am now...ironically...
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~:| Yes.
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~:| No.
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>:(
<:} Dunce cap with a sheepish grin?
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~:| Maybe just the Fourth Way, the Bible, and Homer, and really finish and get completely Covenant Theology via Kline's God, Heaven and Har Magedon and also skimming Witsius.
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~:| And let's not forget duration self-remembering efforts, with, yes, my cards, to give it all energy for real vertical developing...
>:o So back off!! Everybody!!!
~:| I - am - totally - serious.
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May be too many books in that scheme?
Yes.
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I'll think through this...
I have to do things I havn't done before.
(That sounds like a good foundational rule for a new stage.)
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