Aim: Self remember every 15 minutes for 7 hours
Start: 1130
Finish: 1830
Result: 16/28
One mark on a piece of paper indicated a quarterly presence. In total I could accrue 28 marks, four each hour. At the end of the 7 hours I totalled 16 marks.
Notes:
A much more difficult day, dealing with really volatile external events. Did I hang on? Maybe I could have controlled my emotional states - I know it could be better . Actually, I've been like a roman-candle, a succession of delayed explosions. Yet, the aim was to be present every 15 minutes, and I did that pretty well after a poor start. Let's remember here, the object is not a clocking in exercise. You want to be here in real time presence and hold on, to show your value for what is yours. Dropping in every 15 minutes is the wrong approach, whilst dropping out between is something that happens but the aim is always to face the events that the world throws at you and to stay awake throughout. Thinking back a few years, I would make daily efforts, week long and 40 day efforts and the backlash would come, perhaps not always but often long after the effort. It would take me unawares, like some low life loitering in an alley waiting to mug me. In the end I started to fear what might happen next, things were getting out of control to the point of dangerous. I can't explain this, and the details of events are not going to reveal anything but anyone who has ever been in this territory knows that feeling of being exposed and under assault. It is a place of terror. At that point I eased off what I was doing. It was I believe the right thing to do at that time. What has been interesting today, and yesterday to a lesser extent, is the almost immediate backlash.
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5 comments:
In my experience a backlash can be immediate, or, it can be the more usual, i.e. after more extensive accumulating of energy via self-remembering. I'm not sure if it's a set pattern, but the immediate backlash happens sometimes when I havn't been 'in the work' in a steady, dedicated way, but just decide to do a little effort, then wham.
I think our limits are pretty elastic, kind of like maybe as with alcohol. It effects you more strongly the more you've not been partaking of it.
It's like being a athlete too. An athlete can go from being in ultimate shape to being pretty out of shape fairly quickly. Especially if you are talking about 'game shape.'
With the Work, though limits can be elastic, the goal it to reach plateaus where something more permanent has been achieved. To make the third state of consciousness your 'average' state is the goal. Of course thinking in terms of Man #4 and 5 and so on gets at this too. But according to the main sources nothing is really permanent until that, I suppose, #7 level is reached, where development is consolidated. Of course, in Christian language sanctification is never perfect in this life, but only at death and glorification...
Where your template has this:
Blogger Template Style
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URL: www.stopdesign.com
Date: 26 Feb 2004
Updated by: Blogger Team
----------------------------------------------- */
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between these:
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and the navbar will disappear.
>:o I said get rid of the navbar! Get rid of it! Now! It bothers me!!
~:/
~:| It's the means they use to control us.
~:/
>:o I don't write out instructions for them to be ignored!!
You write very well.
Funny how the 'outside world' can sync with internal events matching genuine inner need. Not that I want to explain that but your comment injected something positive just as it was needed. Thanks.
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