Thursday, September 18, 2008
Signs of a Struggle
A couple of days ago whilst at work I went to buy lunch from a nearby burger van. Whilst waiting to be served I got 'talking' to someone based in the same building. She was being critical of a new employee who has quickly gained the reputation of being generally incompetent requiring too much hand-holding and having poor people skills. I understood where she was coming from. I was listening as she went on at length about the guy and how useless he was. I could sense myself awakening, I recognized the event and really didn't want to participate, it was dirty and I didn't want it touching me. So I kept silent, awake to the event and my surroundings. And she continued talking. It was an interesting moment. I could sense the nature of the struggle unfolding. As she spoke I gave her my attention. I could see she had become quite uncomfortable. She was aware that something unseen had changed. She had initiated this 'conversation' quite voluntarily and with a certain confidence that was now dissolving. I felt great pity, not in a condescending manner, I genuinely felt sorry for her - I was making her uncomfortable, I could feel it acutely, her discomfort. This event in real time was a matter of seconds perhaps but it may have lasted forever, or at least like a slow motion accident. I wanted to take away her suffering and in the moment there seemed only one option. So I joined in the conversation, sharing personal anecdotal stories that confirmed much of what she had been saying. And then I slowly slid back into a sleeping state. And, I assume, because I can no longer say with any certainty, that she relaxed with me. Later, on reflection, I found this event of particular interest. How the world draws us down in to these events. The challenges on the way. The micro-events that take on a vast significance when one is conscious of the battle. It was really a moment for new thinking, an opportunity to grasp a common predicament, it was an opportunity to create something new. I felt sorry for her and made a bad decision that did neither of us any good.
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4 comments:
We need to keep pounding higher language into us (Homer, Bible, Work ideas, practices, and goals), and then doing basic, real Work efforts.
Do the things we know manifest in real development in time, even though we can't see it happening in the present.
What you related in this post though is big. To be able to come awake in the moment like that, in the midst of an event you've talked about before that is common for you is big. It doesn't matter if the event itself is mundane. What isn't mundane is coming into a state of self-remembering and non-identifying in real time in the midst of an event that has captured you in the past.
These things are also made meaningful when you have accumulated energy in you. I mean, these events are relative.
Building inner bodies. This is real. I was reading Bible verses on e-sword when looking something up and came across the verse where it says God made the heavens with understanding (or something in that neighborhood), and it reminded me that features of higher centers become sort of the same thing at that higher level. Faith, understanding, will, etc. That you would build your higher bodies with understanding, for instance. Understanding becomes the actual substance of your higher bodies.
Pro 3:19 The LORD by wisdom hath founded the earth; by understanding hath he established the heavens.
And remember, like I mentioned awhile back, Odysseus and Achilles can be seen in menial jobs living mundane lives, but because of their efforts and understanding regarding the Work they are involved in spiritual warfare in the great battle that goes on 'up there', and all that happens to them down here has meaning in that context, so their lives in the flesh, however short amount of time it lasts, are not so mundane. They can be used by God in his army, in other words, as warriours, because they are reachable, they are in the third and fourth states of consciousness.
Homer
Bible
Work
There's no escaping the power of that alliance. It is so solid.
I realise this type of experience frequently. I mean emerging into a state of self-remembering whilst stood face to face listening to someone talk. It just happened an hour ago. It's a daily occurence. I just need to make more of it, either in terms of duration &/or in terms of depth. It has to be said though, for anyone who might ever read these notes, depth opens levels of understanding that are revelatory. And you don't need duration for depth to open incredible vistas - just a split second and you understand things that were completely outside your understanding a minute before. The difficulty is retaining what you understood. That then is the value of a notebook. Anyway I'm about to go away for a few days and I just pulled out Lombardo's Iliad for the trip, so that was a well timed reference.
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