I have never written so little.
Unusual.
Playing guitar a little each evening.
Slow murder of two beautiful tunes belonging to the Irish harpist Turlough O'Carolan:
Lament for Owen Roe O'Neill
Si Bheag Si Mhor
Also learning the Kesh Jig on Anglo concertina.
Interesting exercise. Traditional tunes, not just ITM, tend to trip me up. It's the subtle variation in the melody line between the different Parts. It really stretches my memory. Often I end up mixing lines of one part into the line of another. Intend later this year to learn an old favourite Geese in the Bog/Jig of Slurs and that rather sweet Northumbrian tune Salmon Tails Up The Water.
I crashed Calvin into a wall. I wouldn't dismiss him. He has a place. Just not for me now. The gist of his message has already arrived.
I am sat next to Thucydides and may commence reading his work tonight. It will be the second reading.
I'm reviewing how I approach Work. Something tells me to play fast and loose. Non committal. Free moving, without anchor. Just working at the core: self-remembering.
The old metaphors have been washed away.
Even yesterday thinking of the idea of ploughing.
What?
Ploughing destroys the earth to dust. Ironic given that the invention of the plough would feed so many ... for a time. And though my gardening enterprises are much reduced these days, I'm wholly an advocate of no-dig techniques.
It's just that.
Time rolls along. Ages pass into the future.
The enemy has always favoured surprise attacks.
Slippy fish, wriggly worm.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Chief Feature ... an exercise
From a paper journal, dated 131208:
From memory ... not even that.
Features of False Personality
Imaginary I
Many I's
Lack of SR
Internal Considering
Lying
Buffers
Expressing negative emotions
Unnecessary talk (out of control)
Requirements
Identifying
Vanity
Self-will
Lack of self-observation
Out of control imagination
And then, what I missed (forgot)
Sleep
General lying & self-justifying
FORMATORY THINKING
MECHANICAL ROLES
Self-pictures
Negative/useless attitudes
False suffering
Mechanical associations
Mechanical dislikes/opinions
Mechanical annoyances.
Most of what I missed, was just that, failing to bring into memory but once I looked them up, it was obvious - like I know that eventually they would've popped up. They weren't really forgotten. Not so for those two features highlighted in capitals. I experienced a real shock realising I had missed them. I really had forgotten all about these features - to the extent that having them back in memory almost immediately released me from their power, if only temporarily.
And maybe there is something in this. Remember, this exercise came about after a discussion of Chief Feature and being disappointed with myself for having actually forgotten what I once understood. (Although, I read in a work source quite recently that this is known to happen - but that hardly helps!). So maybe I should entertain the idea, because it doesn't seem impossible, that my Chief Feature could be that I get lost in Mechanical Roles.
Update 010209:
His Chief Feature is that he is contradictory. He has to assert the contrary or opposite. I knew it all along!
From memory ... not even that.
Features of False Personality
Imaginary I
Many I's
Lack of SR
Internal Considering
Lying
Buffers
Expressing negative emotions
Unnecessary talk (out of control)
Requirements
Identifying
Vanity
Self-will
Lack of self-observation
Out of control imagination
And then, what I missed (forgot)
Sleep
General lying & self-justifying
FORMATORY THINKING
MECHANICAL ROLES
Self-pictures
Negative/useless attitudes
False suffering
Mechanical associations
Mechanical dislikes/opinions
Mechanical annoyances.
Most of what I missed, was just that, failing to bring into memory but once I looked them up, it was obvious - like I know that eventually they would've popped up. They weren't really forgotten. Not so for those two features highlighted in capitals. I experienced a real shock realising I had missed them. I really had forgotten all about these features - to the extent that having them back in memory almost immediately released me from their power, if only temporarily.
And maybe there is something in this. Remember, this exercise came about after a discussion of Chief Feature and being disappointed with myself for having actually forgotten what I once understood. (Although, I read in a work source quite recently that this is known to happen - but that hardly helps!). So maybe I should entertain the idea, because it doesn't seem impossible, that my Chief Feature could be that I get lost in Mechanical Roles.
Update 010209:
His Chief Feature is that he is contradictory. He has to assert the contrary or opposite. I knew it all along!
Sunday, January 04, 2009
The Aim:
1. To increase Real Will
2. To increase Consciousness
3. To increase Understanding
I'm putting this here as a simple statement of intent. It doesn't aim to be all and everything but it sets a simple structure to the coming year:
1. Twice daily Prayer.
2. Basic Work: The Seven Day Standard
- Come into a state of SR whilst in the midst of difficult & surprising events x 7 daily
- External Considering* is always conscious: thrice daily
- Record efforts on 5x3 cards & use notebooks, journals, etc, where motivated.
- Rest for 3 days.
- Repeat this 7/3 effort for the rest of 2009.
3. Read Calvin's Institutes (Beveridge trans.) daily following the Princeton Theological Seminary.
4. Swim 2 to 4 times weekly. Reduce strokes-per-length, etc.
5. I have a new instrument to study and learn. Daily.
6. Study work sources, either in short bursts or durations. Have regular 'projects'.
7. Always 'follow the claim of the object', willing things, willing people, willing events, willing the Work.
* Some practical examples of External Considering:
I'm into the 12th day of this year long work effort, and though I do not intend to document a running commentary here, I appear to have succumbed to my need to make some brief note. The first seven days revealed some difficulty in meeting my own quota of three daily efforts to externally consider. That's worth putting on record because I'll be here at the end of 2009 assessing this effort. I also recognise some significant slippage (or perhaps levelling out on a plateau) since the previous work octave ended in Easter 2008. It's a truth: aim prevents drift. And finally, I intend through each successive 7 day period of activity to introduce additional work efforts to those outlined above. Currently I am giving up self-will 10 times daily. But at any rate, I'm circling in on all those features of false personality that never truly go away. (150109)
2. To increase Consciousness
3. To increase Understanding
I'm putting this here as a simple statement of intent. It doesn't aim to be all and everything but it sets a simple structure to the coming year:
1. Twice daily Prayer.
2. Basic Work: The Seven Day Standard
- Come into a state of SR whilst in the midst of difficult & surprising events x 7 daily
- External Considering* is always conscious: thrice daily
- Record efforts on 5x3 cards & use notebooks, journals, etc, where motivated.
- Rest for 3 days.
- Repeat this 7/3 effort for the rest of 2009.
3. Read Calvin's Institutes (Beveridge trans.) daily following the Princeton Theological Seminary.
4. Swim 2 to 4 times weekly. Reduce strokes-per-length, etc.
5. I have a new instrument to study and learn. Daily.
6. Study work sources, either in short bursts or durations. Have regular 'projects'.
7. Always 'follow the claim of the object', willing things, willing people, willing events, willing the Work.
* Some practical examples of External Considering:
- new thinking
- avoid slander and cheap talk
- avoid making requirements of others
- transform negative thoughts of others into positive thoughts
- see all negativity as a gift
- put oneself in another's position
- find in oneself a state corresponding to that found in others - remember that you felt like this once
- discern the other persons needs and try to meet them
- remember that people are asleep, they know not what they do, they are machines
- "In relation to other people, you must not act without thinking. Think first, then act. If this person would prefer you to act in some manner and not another, it is all the same to you, so why not do what he likes?" - O
I'm into the 12th day of this year long work effort, and though I do not intend to document a running commentary here, I appear to have succumbed to my need to make some brief note. The first seven days revealed some difficulty in meeting my own quota of three daily efforts to externally consider. That's worth putting on record because I'll be here at the end of 2009 assessing this effort. I also recognise some significant slippage (or perhaps levelling out on a plateau) since the previous work octave ended in Easter 2008. It's a truth: aim prevents drift. And finally, I intend through each successive 7 day period of activity to introduce additional work efforts to those outlined above. Currently I am giving up self-will 10 times daily. But at any rate, I'm circling in on all those features of false personality that never truly go away. (150109)
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
The Gospel of Satan
By chance I stumbled upon this article. I may not have bothered to read it under such circumstances but the author being not unfamiliar I began the first paragraph. I don't have any commentary to append except perhaps to say writing of this quality leaves us all exposed and we would do well to heed those final words to examine ourselves, to measure ourselves by the Word of God.
As a side note, given the insight I touched upon here regarding the Book of Proverbs, and C's insight on Proverbs serving as a handbook for the Spiritual Quest it may be of relevance that of all the books of Scripture it was this same book which first penetrated Pink's heart.
There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. - Proverbs 14:12
As a side note, given the insight I touched upon here regarding the Book of Proverbs, and C's insight on Proverbs serving as a handbook for the Spiritual Quest it may be of relevance that of all the books of Scripture it was this same book which first penetrated Pink's heart.
There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. - Proverbs 14:12
Monday, December 15, 2008
External Considering
Seven Day Aim
16 - 22 December 2008
For whatever reasons, I frequently find myself drawn into arguments. Truly unnecessary, even meaningless arguments that burn good energy and leave a bilious taste in the gut. Sometimes I observe the cause arising within others but often it is the out of control parts of my own being gaining unbridled expression. This aim seeks the non-expression of all irritations and disagreements and secondly the conscious effort to hear the other person: to step aside. As they say in kung fu, 'receive what comes, follow what goes'. It's simply a way of controlling the opponent's energy, to yield and let it go, to trap it, to handle it as one chooses - as the occasion demands.
The second element of this effort is good 'ole standard 7 x daily rote self-remembering and prayer.
16 - 22 December 2008
For whatever reasons, I frequently find myself drawn into arguments. Truly unnecessary, even meaningless arguments that burn good energy and leave a bilious taste in the gut. Sometimes I observe the cause arising within others but often it is the out of control parts of my own being gaining unbridled expression. This aim seeks the non-expression of all irritations and disagreements and secondly the conscious effort to hear the other person: to step aside. As they say in kung fu, 'receive what comes, follow what goes'. It's simply a way of controlling the opponent's energy, to yield and let it go, to trap it, to handle it as one chooses - as the occasion demands.
The second element of this effort is good 'ole standard 7 x daily rote self-remembering and prayer.
State of Being
"For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey ... "
And we find ourselves left wandering, travelling through this earthly kingdom openly exposed to the "subtil of heart" who wish to draw us into a chamber of death, to snare and then slay us.
And this is the picture of any one of us at any time we are not engaged in the effort to awaken, at any time we are not assembled to rule the congregation.
[Proverbs 7]
And we find ourselves left wandering, travelling through this earthly kingdom openly exposed to the "subtil of heart" who wish to draw us into a chamber of death, to snare and then slay us.
And this is the picture of any one of us at any time we are not engaged in the effort to awaken, at any time we are not assembled to rule the congregation.
[Proverbs 7]
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Transform the Unmanifest
We want to place a point of consciousness at the tip of a particular activity or event. We want to transform something, at least one thing each day. We want to create energy of consciousness, preserve something rather than lose it in the ceaseless passing momentariness of the day. It doesn't matter what the event is - sailing a skiff, ironing your night shirts, milking an anglo-nubian, ploughing the legumes, cooking plantain ... for breakfast. Or something entirely different. We want to give what we have - our time - in conscious service to the Glory of God. We need to do this much to stand still.
But here's something to think about. While we aim to put consciousness into events, and recurrent trivial events at that, there are yet greater glories to uphold. Certain things are not meant to enter into manifestation - there are things that need not come down at all. The Work has always been something we experience in the flow of life. It picks us up in the commotion of daily living, long recognised as the best place to experience and thus find valuation for the Work. Amidst this daily agitation, we quickly come to understand that our point of contact is often already too late to effect much transformation. We are left developing a passive Observing I. No bad thing in itself but only an early day motion. Even in the heat of more direct efforts and planned programs, we are too often found bloodied, conquered by forces beyond our previous imagining. It is obvious to say it, we need to work in the unmanifest. If it sounds at all doubtful then observe something simple, a coarse event: the presence of negative emotions in daily life. So commonplace is this infectious fever - it's nearly invisible - we can say, almost confidently, by the time we are adults the majority of our emotional tagging of events will be negative. Our neuro-emotional networks are riddled with dark cancerous markers just waiting to release the next wave of negative energy into the world. The most trivial things are tagged to release this poison. It takes very little for most of us to throw out our dummies, those that don't see this have not yet experienced their personal limitations. We're such very delicate, self-important things. And none of this even touches on the influence of giant sinkhole events such as 9/11 or the current meltdown of the worlds financial institutions.
We are surrounded by people, they are everywhere and they are all making demands of us. When they are not making demands we find ourselves wrestling with ideas or monologues triggered either by the memory of other people or else in some other manner related back to our musings on our relationships with others, be that real or imagined, physically familial or as tenuous as connecting with a long dead author. And if any of that abates for a moment, life-events fill the vacuum, some crisis occurs. Or else we are overwhelmed with loneliness, boredom, a sense of inadequacy, lack of recognition for our personal genius or what ever other emotional stupidity is having the better of us. It is a world full of negative emotions swirling in a dynamic melange of human interplay. All of this negativity is first established in the unmanifest. By giving expression to our negative emotions we give 'it' manifest form to breathe and prosper. Once it's out there it runs amok - and that is the level at which daily life conducts itself.
And then we have the Work. We may practise placing consciousness in Dance Movements or the Art of Pancake Flipping but recognise that these efforts simply cock the hammer, the energy of consciousness that we so struggle to contain is what ignites the powder and drives out the leaden force of negative emotion. If we sit and wait, we get what comes. It's very simple. Never forget and work actively to transform the unmanifest. Not because we can or ultimately that we need to - after all, the fields are full of Angus, Guernsey and Charolais and the grass is usually green - but because it is the will of God. And because it is an expression of our Service that we seek to cleanse ourselves.
But here's something to think about. While we aim to put consciousness into events, and recurrent trivial events at that, there are yet greater glories to uphold. Certain things are not meant to enter into manifestation - there are things that need not come down at all. The Work has always been something we experience in the flow of life. It picks us up in the commotion of daily living, long recognised as the best place to experience and thus find valuation for the Work. Amidst this daily agitation, we quickly come to understand that our point of contact is often already too late to effect much transformation. We are left developing a passive Observing I. No bad thing in itself but only an early day motion. Even in the heat of more direct efforts and planned programs, we are too often found bloodied, conquered by forces beyond our previous imagining. It is obvious to say it, we need to work in the unmanifest. If it sounds at all doubtful then observe something simple, a coarse event: the presence of negative emotions in daily life. So commonplace is this infectious fever - it's nearly invisible - we can say, almost confidently, by the time we are adults the majority of our emotional tagging of events will be negative. Our neuro-emotional networks are riddled with dark cancerous markers just waiting to release the next wave of negative energy into the world. The most trivial things are tagged to release this poison. It takes very little for most of us to throw out our dummies, those that don't see this have not yet experienced their personal limitations. We're such very delicate, self-important things. And none of this even touches on the influence of giant sinkhole events such as 9/11 or the current meltdown of the worlds financial institutions.
We are surrounded by people, they are everywhere and they are all making demands of us. When they are not making demands we find ourselves wrestling with ideas or monologues triggered either by the memory of other people or else in some other manner related back to our musings on our relationships with others, be that real or imagined, physically familial or as tenuous as connecting with a long dead author. And if any of that abates for a moment, life-events fill the vacuum, some crisis occurs. Or else we are overwhelmed with loneliness, boredom, a sense of inadequacy, lack of recognition for our personal genius or what ever other emotional stupidity is having the better of us. It is a world full of negative emotions swirling in a dynamic melange of human interplay. All of this negativity is first established in the unmanifest. By giving expression to our negative emotions we give 'it' manifest form to breathe and prosper. Once it's out there it runs amok - and that is the level at which daily life conducts itself.
And then we have the Work. We may practise placing consciousness in Dance Movements or the Art of Pancake Flipping but recognise that these efforts simply cock the hammer, the energy of consciousness that we so struggle to contain is what ignites the powder and drives out the leaden force of negative emotion. If we sit and wait, we get what comes. It's very simple. Never forget and work actively to transform the unmanifest. Not because we can or ultimately that we need to - after all, the fields are full of Angus, Guernsey and Charolais and the grass is usually green - but because it is the will of God. And because it is an expression of our Service that we seek to cleanse ourselves.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Divine Learning
A few weeks back as I was getting into bed I found myself awakening, coming into presence, with an unusually deep sense of a 'visible' umbilical spiralling out from the core of my being to the heart of God. The energy was wholly in the connection. My thoughts rushed towards the Bible, the Book of Proverbs. I can reason that very quickly. If our objective is contact then wisdom and understanding are the access roads - wisdom of the Holy Spirit - and this is what Proverbs teaches. Get ye understanding and wisdom ...
A day or so later with this event still fresh and an effective influence, this little gem was brought to my attention.
A day or so later with this event still fresh and an effective influence, this little gem was brought to my attention.
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